New beginnings

Here's what I love about new beginnings. The promise of tomorrow, of not knowing what lies in store, but knowing without a shadow of a doubt, that's it's gonna be exactly what you ordered up in heaven, when you were planning this glorious adventure you are on now.
If you only knew what greatness lies in store, you'd be whooping your way through every single heartbreak, redundancy and peniless moment. If you only knew that the biggest leaps, the most courageous jumps and the best adventures come from starting anew, you'd be grinning from ear to ear, morning, noon, night.
You may as well start grinning though, cause chances are, if the universe has brought you to read this post, it's because it's also made you close a door somewhere in your life, and you're at the point, hovering between here and there, uncertain of what the future holds. But fear not, my well-travelled friend. The path we're on now, is the path of greatness, of glory, of songs sung at the top of our lungs, without a care of hitting A sharp, or B flat. It's singing Sinatra's words to the tune of your life. The path you've chosen today, is the one that you predestined for yourself once oh-so-long-ago. It's the path which has signboards along the way, secret little signboards propelling you in the right direction, if you'd only slow down long enough to look. And what's the hurry anyway? You're destined to reach the grand finale, complete with your name up in lights, and groupies following your every move, as you take to the stage to sing "I Did It My Way".

P.S. It always has been your way. You just didn't realise that contrary to you being in the shadows, the spotlight was on you all along. You chose not to notice it, because... well I don't know your becauses. Maybe that's just you doing it your way.
And may I add, up there in heaven, all the angels and fairies are fighting their way for front row seats to see you enact part 2 of your grand play.

My story

Letting go is painful. It’s toxic. It’s like waxing the most delicate part of your body. It’s shite and it hurts. But it’s necessary if you want a new radiant you.
So necessary, in fact, that I’m going to make this post personal. This one’s about me. About my lessons of letting go. About my self-created hurt, my loss of power. Yeah, this is about me and X. And yet it’s not. It’s got everything to do with X, and yet it has nothing to do with X. It’s got everything to do with me. About my inability to let him go from within. My lack of power over myself.
But today is a new day. It’s a new girl wandering around her universe, noticing the beauty within. Only just realizing all over again that the minute she’s complete within, it doesn’t matter if she’s with or without. It only matters whether the inside is a whole or a broken part. And sure, a lot of us are amalgamations of various broken parts. But what if we took all those broken parts, collected them together, waved our magic wand and fused them to each other? Seamlessly, effortlessly, perfectly fused every single chipped and worn away bit within us, to create a magical new whole. We’d be complete, I’d be complete. I am complete. I am whole. The wand has been waved. The parts have all fused, the wheel’s turned full circle, and the soul is whole. The girl is complete.
X is gone. Sent away with so much unconditional, pure love. Far away. So he doesn’t chip off a chunk of the new. That emotion has been worn out and depleted. The well’s run dry and now that the draught is nearing its end, I’m just waiting for the next rainfall to fill up the well all the way to the brim.
It’s been hard, this journey of letting go. It’s even harder watching the person you love tell you how much they love someone else. Watching the man you love cry his eyes out for another woman is the toxic, ripping hair out of its roots from your bikini line for the first time, painful moment. But as soon as the strip’s been pulled off hard and fast, and a soothing gel applied to all the bumps and cuts that have come up as a result, you walk out the salon, straight to the beach, with the hottest bod, sexiest bikini and smoothest skin. And I’d bet my bottom dollar that a whole new pair of eyes, or multiple pairs of eyes, glance lingeringly at you. They may notice the cuts on your skin, they may notice how it’s still slightly red and raw, but they will also notice how perfect and unblemished it is. They’d see the courage it took to rip off the unwanted, to be bare, raw and exposed, with your head held high, and courage written over every pore of your perfect new skin.
Yes, letting someone go hurts more than you thought you were capable of hurting. But the newness that emerges from accepting, forgiving, forgetting and moving on, is stark… beautiful. The woman who emerges strong, silent and smiling from a long dark tunnel, is the most powerful one of all.
This post is mine. That woman is me. Nearing the end of that tunnel, able to see the light at the end, refusing myself permission to turn around, look behind, say a last goodbye, or run back to the start. This woman has walked the path of the dark and lonely. She’s spent many a night lost in the endless darkness, stumbling over the bumps and curves in the tunnel. And now she sees the end. She sees a way out. She believes in today. She’s assured of tomorrow. She’s confident, so confident that it will bring her exactly what she wants it to bring her. My tomorrow may attract a new, recreate an old, or invent the unheard. But it will come, my tomorrow. I just have to live through today first. Enjoy today. Accept the moment. Live in the now. Every perfect now will eventually add up, a string of divine perfection, creating eternal bliss, a permanent state of joy in my heart. And for that, cords had to be cut. Energies had to shift. The man had to go. The girl had to be alone.
Goodbye X. Be happy, be pure, go out there and find your love, find yourself. Create your new day. I wish you the best.

The magic of you

What may appear to be a slap in the face, might just be a blessing in disguise. You may be getting the best gift of your life, just packaged in the wrong way.

When you feel like it isn’t going right, the plan’s gone awry, or the life’s gone off-track, be grateful for that moment. For it is only in those moments where we have nothing, can we begin to create from scratch.

When the slate’s blank, we can pretty much write whatever we want to on it. We start a brand new story with enough space for all our twists and turns and plot-hangers.

It’s like going shopping for new clothes. If your wardrobe is so full there isn’t even a millimeter of hanging space left, where are you going to fit those new clothes? Wouldn’t you need to empty out the clutter first?

So when you feel all alone, deserted, abandoned, abused, misused, misunderstood… thank your lucky stars for the opportunity to clear out the old and replace it with a brand new You. A You that up to this point only existed in your wildest fantasies.

Cause you see, you’re never really deserted or abandoned or misunderstood in the first place. You can’t ever be alone as long as you have you. And even through the lowest point in your life, when everyone else turns away into their own world, you’re still left with the single most important person in your life: You.

And when you get together with You, miracles happen, rainbows are created and there’s magic everywhere.

Moon Goddess

Another full moon. Another date with destiny. Another chance to bathe in the moonlight and cleanse myself of the negative energies of the past month. Another opportunity to recharge and rejuvenate.
I love my moon, me. She never fails to be there. As loyal as the sun. As mysterious as space. As perfect as a pebble. As cracked as a rock. She embodies virtues of perfectionism, yet unabashedly flaunts her flaws, her cracks showing us that one needn’t be perfect to be beautiful. Even a soul with holes can still be complete from within.
Like the moon, we too are gods and goddesses, ebbing and flowing to the tides of the universe. We shine bright, lie low, wane, wax, appear and disappear. But we remain. Eternal. Magnificent. Majestic. Walking the path of love. Giving light when we’re called upon. Providing shelter when the need arises. Knowing when to hide in the shadows and when to come out and make a stand.
There’s a lot to learn from the moon. She’s the goddess of the night. The shelter for the weary.
She isn’t the sun. She doesn’t always shine bright and perky, day in and day out. She’s a bid moody, the moon. But that’s her charm. Therein lies her beauty, her mystery. She’s a woman in every sense of the word. Playing catch-me-if-you-can games. Moving in and out of the spotlight, shedding old skin and growing a new coat, living out her whims and fancies, celebrating her mood-swings… the charming, beguiling, mysterious witch that she is. That I am. That so many of us are. And we are. Some of us just don’t know it yet.