Can’t believe an entire week has passed since I last wrote. What kept me away for so long? I know I procrastinated and made excuses. But obviously that was a cover-up for something much more. Something which I didn’t have the courage to say earlier, but I should now. I should because unless I let it go from my system, it will remain within and fester.
So here’s my confession. I got so caught up in the here and now, so involved on the outside, that I neglected the inside. I wasn’t listening to that little voice going “oh oh! Don’t go there”.
I allowed myself to be surrounded by negativity and cribbing. I allowed the words to hit my ears and sink into me. I’d end up carrying other people’s negativity on my shoulders, until it became a dark cloud over my head. I stopped focusing on love first thing every morning and last thing every night. I stopped sending my angels to those in need. I stopped feeling from within, and I ended up without.
Until last night, when I decided to be selfish. I made a conscious decision to step away from the whining and complaining and cribbing and crying. I sat at home and entered my own head. I closed my eyes and felt roots connect my body to the sand beneath me. I heard little Snickers playing with his chewie by my side. It was a sound that gave me immense comfort. I allowed the summer breeze to carress my face, the smell of the trees with their sleeping flowers to gleefully invade my senses. I pictured me hunch-backed, dragging the weight of others over my shoulder like a sack full of dead rocks. I saw how miserable I looked doing that. I felt how unhappy I was because every nerve in my being was focusing on the unpleasant duty of carrying those rocks. I stood up, put the bag down, said a silent goodbye and walked away. As I walked away I grew taller and lighter. My face started glowing. I could feel all the thoughts emanating from my middle. I felt love. I felt courage. I felt peace. I felt calm. I felt life. Eternal and majestic in all it’s raw beauty. Giving thanks for such a miracle didn’t seem enough. I looked up at my universe and laughed. I laughed and laughed until I laughed that bag of rocks away. And as I laughed, the trees grew around me, the butterflies came back, the bird chirped, Sneaks ran around in crazy little circles. All felt right. I was connected. I was grounded. I flew up high, while my roots swirled and twirled to their own beats on the earth.
In that moment another Muby turned up. She was me, but she wasn’t me. She’s been around so much longer, her soul so much older. She reminded me never to allow people to force their cloak of negativity over my shoulders. She told me not to underestimate my energy. Not to tarnish my aura, not to fall into the trap of nothingness. She reminded me that a smile begets another smile, joy, attracts joy, goodness makes the way for even more goodness, and all people come with their own karma. She spoke the infinitely wise words of Wayne Dyer, “How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.”
And I have to admit I had all too easily fallen into the rut of following their doctrine of unhappiness. I barely spoke to my universe all week. My mood ring stopped showing spiritual growth. I was stunted, and I allowed it to happen.
But the girl from last night took it all away. She helped me reconnect to me. She realigned my path with the universe. She gave me my powers back. Just like others pulled out a little vial of negative energy and splashed it around my aura, she took out a vial of positivity and doused me in it from head to toe. It felt like an awakening. I’m overjoyed to have found my heart again. I feel like me, I feel lighter, I feel stronger, I feel calmer, I feel happier. I am alive. I am at peace. With each breath, I radiate that peace, with each word, I spread the love. That’s my way of being.
As I said last week, each of us needs to be. In their own unique way. This is mine.
So here’s my confession. I got so caught up in the here and now, so involved on the outside, that I neglected the inside. I wasn’t listening to that little voice going “oh oh! Don’t go there”.
I allowed myself to be surrounded by negativity and cribbing. I allowed the words to hit my ears and sink into me. I’d end up carrying other people’s negativity on my shoulders, until it became a dark cloud over my head. I stopped focusing on love first thing every morning and last thing every night. I stopped sending my angels to those in need. I stopped feeling from within, and I ended up without.
Until last night, when I decided to be selfish. I made a conscious decision to step away from the whining and complaining and cribbing and crying. I sat at home and entered my own head. I closed my eyes and felt roots connect my body to the sand beneath me. I heard little Snickers playing with his chewie by my side. It was a sound that gave me immense comfort. I allowed the summer breeze to carress my face, the smell of the trees with their sleeping flowers to gleefully invade my senses. I pictured me hunch-backed, dragging the weight of others over my shoulder like a sack full of dead rocks. I saw how miserable I looked doing that. I felt how unhappy I was because every nerve in my being was focusing on the unpleasant duty of carrying those rocks. I stood up, put the bag down, said a silent goodbye and walked away. As I walked away I grew taller and lighter. My face started glowing. I could feel all the thoughts emanating from my middle. I felt love. I felt courage. I felt peace. I felt calm. I felt life. Eternal and majestic in all it’s raw beauty. Giving thanks for such a miracle didn’t seem enough. I looked up at my universe and laughed. I laughed and laughed until I laughed that bag of rocks away. And as I laughed, the trees grew around me, the butterflies came back, the bird chirped, Sneaks ran around in crazy little circles. All felt right. I was connected. I was grounded. I flew up high, while my roots swirled and twirled to their own beats on the earth.
In that moment another Muby turned up. She was me, but she wasn’t me. She’s been around so much longer, her soul so much older. She reminded me never to allow people to force their cloak of negativity over my shoulders. She told me not to underestimate my energy. Not to tarnish my aura, not to fall into the trap of nothingness. She reminded me that a smile begets another smile, joy, attracts joy, goodness makes the way for even more goodness, and all people come with their own karma. She spoke the infinitely wise words of Wayne Dyer, “How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours.”
And I have to admit I had all too easily fallen into the rut of following their doctrine of unhappiness. I barely spoke to my universe all week. My mood ring stopped showing spiritual growth. I was stunted, and I allowed it to happen.
But the girl from last night took it all away. She helped me reconnect to me. She realigned my path with the universe. She gave me my powers back. Just like others pulled out a little vial of negative energy and splashed it around my aura, she took out a vial of positivity and doused me in it from head to toe. It felt like an awakening. I’m overjoyed to have found my heart again. I feel like me, I feel lighter, I feel stronger, I feel calmer, I feel happier. I am alive. I am at peace. With each breath, I radiate that peace, with each word, I spread the love. That’s my way of being.
As I said last week, each of us needs to be. In their own unique way. This is mine.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment